Handling all the thneed since 1972.

Sexual Sunday.

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 14:18:53 -0400

acanthite:

askslutspy:

Asks please! Anon or not, my askbox wants you all.

shit why not. ill answer anything

If I challenged you to a duel of rhymes, best onceler of all times, would you accept and offer up your best?

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 20:30:00 -0400

Rhymes are my life

No reason to strife.

I’m a busy man and I have no time

To play with a child about a game of rhymes!

Here's the cash! Now make like the Flash and dash!

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 20:29:24 -0400

Your order of thneeds has been produced

However, when we took the money and simply deduced

You gave us only enough for two hundred, I’m sad to say.

But at least take these, and go on your way!

Have you ever eaten green eggs and ham?

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 20:27:00 -0400

I know that man Sam, the man with the ham.

That food was poisoned I thought, I told him to scram!

The answer to your question would be no.

That fellow Sam is the worst man to know.

So sir, did you know there's somebody else trying to sell your thneeds?

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 20:21:00 -0400

Many competitors have come and gone.

None of beat me, not one, not one!

djkid and swaggermimint started following you

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:33:00 -0400

Nice to meet you, my dear friends.

Our sale on thneed is almost at an end.

25 % percent off of our thneed hats!

But only today, and that’s that!

oncieswaifu started following you

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:28:34 -0400

Pardon me, I must confess.

Unless you donned a silk white dress.

There was no marriage that I knew of

You can’t just say that we’re in love!

Which color of truffula tree is your favorite?

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:22:00 -0400

There’s so many colors to choose

Shades of reds, yellows and blues.

If I had to pick just one, I think

I would go with a lovely pink!

do you even have a butt

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:55:00 -0400

Such questions like this are truly nosy.

Now leave, shoo, out you will mosey!

can i touch your butt

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:53:00 -0400

Now that is crude.

Be on your way and don’t be rude!

To all my new customers:

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:52:00 -0400

Hello to you, and you, and you! Ace diamond, a zombie and swordvan too.

If you need a thneed, just step in line.

Look around, browse, just take your time.

Gack! Ack, and alack! This won't do, I'm due for the chopkaloo! They'll take my head, they'll take my job, I need them by 8-- don't be a snob!

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:51:00 -0400

Like I said before, do you have your pay?

Just hand me the money and we’ll start right away.

you're hotttt

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:50:00 -0400

A nice compliment, this surely is, but I’m afraid I can’t return it.

It’s hard to tell if a gray face is truly legit.

imathneed: okay, lemme tell you WHY all you need a thneed look at that look at all of that...

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:48:24 -0400

imathneed:

okay, lemme tell you WHY all you need a thneed

look at that

look at all of that perfection

what is that?

IT’S A FUCKING THNEED

why do you need it?

WELL IT’S A FUCKING THNEED

THAT SHOULD BE THE REASON ALONE

if you need something else

You’ll be covered in bitches when you wear it

fucking swagged up

YOLO, ya’know

but overall

IT’S A MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF ARTWORK

LOOK AT IT

GODDAMN BEST PIECE OF MANLY KNITTING I’VE EVER SEEN

now go

and talk to my main man once-ler,

lol who the fuck names their kid once-ler,

AND GET YOURSELF

A THNEED

But it won't do, mister Onceler, it won't do! I need them by 7, outrageous it's true, but my job is on the line and I think you'll sympathize, too!

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:45:00 -0400

My factory works quick, but not that fast.

I’m afraid to say that 7 has passed.

If you provide the money, we’ll work much quicker to load up the trucks.

But only if you provide the appropriate bucks.

iamjustacoat started following you

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:41:49 -0400

Just a coat? Wouldn’t you like some socks?

I can supply you with thneed socks if they’re in stock.

Or perhaps you would like some pants or maybe thneed shoes?

There’s many options for you to choose!

Can I have an order for 5000 thneeds by 7 tonight?

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:39:00 -0400

Your order is outrageous.

To complete that feat would be very courageous.

If you give us a little more time

We can get at least one hundred done by nine!

ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 16:15:00 -0400

Robots are cold and metal, you know

But a dinosaur can squash you right under it’s toe.

When it all comes down to which one to choose

I think both of them would give me the blues.

Reason #1 to buy a Thneed

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 16:12:53 -0400

ask-thneedfangirl:

The Thneed can be used as a very fashionable shirt! Just look at that pretty color! It keeps you warm during winter and in summer it lets your skin breath making you feel fresh and cool.